Angelology
by Niknakz93
Summary: Gabriel and Lucifer go and see a psychiatrist... with hilarious results! Pair of oneshots  Final part now up! Reviews much loved!
1. All work and no play? Nahh

**Angels need help too!**

Part one- Gabriel.

Part two-Lucifer (up soon)

* * *

Gabriel growled at the brothers.

'You can't make me!' he said vehemently, trying to vanish, but the Enochian sigils that the boys tricked him into taking prevented it.

They wanted him to see a damn shrink!

'Uh uh- no way!' he snarled, trying to run off, but they just pulled him back- Dean was smirking.

'Oh yes you are.. now get in there-!'

Sam and Dean pushed him hard in the back, making him fly forwards into the "help room"

he got up, growling under his breath.

_'Are you ok? That was a... surprise entrance.'_

Gabriel looked up to see a pretty blonde chick, sitting behind a desk with a clipboard.

He got up, nodding. 'Yes- I'll just be leaving...'

He tried but failed to vanish- which really pissed him off.

Damn those Winchesters!

'Why don't you sit down?' the chick asked, gesturing at the chair.

He stared, then groaned internally- what harm could it do?

'My name is Lily or Miss Saunders.' she smiled. Gabe grinned; maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

Lily then asked. 'What's your name again?' Gabriel answered. 'Gabriel.'

She smiled again. 'Like the angel?'

Gabriel laughed 'Exactly like the angel.'

Lily chuckled, then consulted her clipboard. 'Now-' she said. 'Your friends gave me a few things to go over with you- the main points being- family issues, obsession with... tricking people? And they did stress on the last one.'

Gabriel was scowling- how dare they!

'The last one?' he asked innocently.

Lily sighed.

'Your relationship with women.'

Gabriel was really pissed now- were those Wankchesters trying to ruin everything in his life?

He sighed. 'Can we get this over with already?'

Lily nodded, poising her clipboard. 'We'll tackle the family issues first.'

Gabriel nodded. 'Sure Sweetheart.' Lily sighed. 'I would prefer to be called-' but Gabriel butted in. 'Fine, fine! Ok!'

Lily nodded. 'So how do we start? How would you say you relationship with your family is like?'

Gabriel laughed and sat back in his chair. 'Umm.. bad-? My dad ran off, and my two elder brothers never stop fighting- which is why I left home in the first place.'

Lily nodded. 'And how did the feeling of watching your brothers fight all the time feel like?' Gabriel looked thoughtful.

'Pretty crap.' was all he could come up with. Lily nodded, taking notes.

'Do they still fight?' she asked. Gabriel shook his head. 'Not at the moment- but its only a matter of time until they do.'

She nodded again. 'Did you ever try and stop them?' she then asked.

Gabriel sighed. 'Hell I've tried! But their so stubborn- they never give up!' Lily sighed. 'Was this why your father left?'

Gabriel shrugged. 'No one really found out why- he just packed up and vanished.'

She nodded. 'Was this before or after you ran away?' Gabriel frowned. 'Im not too sure- I don't really remember it, but I think it was after.'

Lily sighed. 'Do you think it was because of your brothers fighting, and you running away from your family that made him leave?'

Gabriel shrugged. 'Probably.'

She nodded, then frowned. 'And this obsession with tricking people-?'

Gabriel laughed. 'Oh my friends thought they'd put that in for a joke- its really no big concern.'

_He was gonna find them and rip their heads of when he found them!_

Lily nodded. 'If your sure... we'll talk about the women situation.' Gabriel's ears pricked up.

_Oh man..._

'What about it?' he frowned, sitting up. Lily gazed at the clipboard. 'It says here that you like... sleeping around-?'

Gabriel grinned. 'Thats correct.' Lily nodded.

'Why do you do it? What triggered it?' she asked intently. Gabriel shrugged. 'Seemed a waste not to make use of this body while I have it.' he grinned. Lily nodded. 'Very true; but do you ever think about what your doing?

Gabriel nodded. 'All the time!'

_Never! Dream on bitch!_

lily nodded yet again. 'Is it like an obsession of yours- a new woman every night?' Gabriel grinned. 'Well... if I can.'

Lily nodded.

_What an insane, freaky nutter! _She thought past the fake smles.

Gabriel was of a different opinion.

_Jeez shes so hot! To be honest- this hour was well spent just staring at those-_

_'Erhmm... Gabriel-?'_

Gabriel came to his senses. 'Yup?' he smiled. Lily sighed.'I think thats about all- your free to go.'

She gestured at the door. Gabriel frowned. 'You don't like this job- do you?'

Lily sighed. 'To be honest? No. But it pays well.'

Gabriel laughed. 'We got half hour left- why don't we just stuff the rest of the session?'

Lily looked thoughtful, then grinned, putting her clipboard down. 'I quit anyway.'

* * *

_Half hour later_

'Did you have a good time?' Dean asked sweetly as Gabriel came back out the room. He grinned and nodded.

'Hell yeah!'

Sam frowned as he spied the smudge of red on his shirt.

He sighed.

'And would that be, by any chance, concerning the lipstick on your collar?' He asked, folding his arms.

Gabriel shrugged. What?' he said innocently.

Dean shook his head. 'Your beyond any help.' he just sighed, trying not to smirk.

Gabriel grinned. 'Hey-! Whats work with no play? Liven up a little!'

Sam and Dean just sighed and walked away.

It was so typical- you just couldn't take him anywhere...

* * *

**Ok, just a total random idea thats been in my head for months. And I wanted to do a oneshot not conencted to my other fics... so viola! Random thoughts inside my head are like this! Part two with Lucifer will be up tomorrow while I take a little break from my other stories. X Nic**


	2. Heavens Playboy

**Even Angels need our help too!**

Part one- Gabriel (already up)

Part two- Lucifer (now up!)

Lucifer was scowling.

Talk to a human about "problems-?"

No way in Heaven, Hell and Earth was his moronic, stupid younger brother was going to do that to him!

Gabriel smirked. 'I'll zap you if you don't.' Lucifer laughed.

'And I'll just kill you.'

Gabriel scowled. 'Try it Lucy!'

Lucifer just snarled. 'Don't worry- I will!'

Gabriel sighed and rolled his eyes.

'Pretty please? Its not so bad-' he grinned. 'You'll love the ending.'

Lucifer, of course, didn't have a clue what his brother was on about, so he just nodded- making Gabriel roar in laughter, then he motioned inside.

Lucifer scowled, but went in.

Lily looked up, smiling.

'Are you Gabriel's brother... Lucifer-? yes?'

Lucifer continued standing, an eyebrow raised at this human.

'Yes.' he said sourly. Lily nodded, then laughed.

'Jeez! Its like im meeting angels recently.'

Lucifer didn't smile.

Lily stopped laughing, then picked up her clipboard. 'Now-' she said. 'Your brother gave me a few things to discuss...'

_Some very freaky stuff... hell their family must be so screwed!_

She watched Lucifer for a reaction, but got nothing, so she continued.

'The topics are- why you and your brother argue so much, why you rebelled... and- why your such a dic-?'

She stopped herself from saying the last one.

Lucifer scowled.

_That freaking brother of his-!_

Lily felt a shiver go through her- it was like she was facing the actual devil.

'We'll handle the brother situation first. Can you explain why you fight?' she asked. Lucifer rolled his eyes.

'He's such an obedient little bastard!' he snarled. Lily sighed. 'This is a positive environ-'

_'I don't give a toss.'_

Lily nearly flinched at the level of hostility in his voice.

'Your brother and you... whats your relationship now?' she gingerly asked. Lucifer smirked. 'He wants to kick my ass back to Hell.'

Lily just stared.

'Hell? Wheres that?' she frowned.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. 'Its down there-' he raised a hand, pointing to the floor. 'You know; the place you go if your a very bad little boy?'

Lily was still frowning.

_What a total nutjob! No wonder his dad left- he's a freak!_

She nodded. 'Ok... does your dad know?'

Lucifer snorted. 'He was the one to give the order that I be banished... just because I wouldn't accept the new brats!'

Gabriel, who was sitting outside, waiting for the session to be over suddenly had his worst fear confirmed- there was the sound of glass shattering.

He groaned, then vanished inside.

'Lucy! Stop it now you dick!' he yelled, folding his arms in annoyance.

Lucifer scowled, turning to him. 'This is your fault! You made me do this Gabriel!' he roared. Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

'Oh stop being so childish! Your supposed to be thousands of years old- not five!' He frowned.

Lucifer's eyes narrowed, then nodded curtly to where Lily was sat, frozen in her seat.

_Holy shit-! It really was the devil-? And I did an Archangel-? I'm going insane!_

_'_You better sort out your "pet"' Lucifer scowled, then vanished.

Gabriel sighed, then turned to Lily, who's eyes were wide. He shrugged.

'Told ya he was a dick.'

Lily laughed weakly. 'That was-?' Gabriel nodded. 'My brother Lucy.'

She just sat there, frozen. 'Is it true-? The whole angel thing-?'' Gabriel nodded.

'They missed out the fact that I was Heavens Playboy.'

Lily just stared.

What was the world coming to-?

* * *

**Well... thats the end of the insane little idea I had lmao! Thanks for the massive faves etc! There will be another random ideas fic coming soon!Hell this was sooo much fun to write as a way to take my mind of my other fics. I don't think Lilys working there anymore lmao! Bless she'll be the oneneeding help now! Reviews much loved! X Nic**


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